ConditionalLove

My sister is whining about being fat, so my mom gives her a 5 minute speech about how her body is beautiful and she's not fat and she should love herself. My mom then turns to me, completely unprovoked, and starts my speech with: "You on the other hand..."
Pwnd Life.

K

My friend texted a boy to tell him that I was no longer tryna with him. I expected him to be at least a little disappointed when he found out. He responded with: "K."
Pwnd Life

MissNomer

An administrator from my school emailed me asking for my real name to put on my diploma. She thought the name that I had given her was a joke. It was my real name.
Pwnd Life

Freakbook

I told my friend to ask someone if they would accept my friend request on Facebook. A minute later, I get a message from my friend saying: "Would you accept his friend request? He is a freak. And a stalker." She sent it to the wrong person.
Pwnd Life

FleXed

I looked in the mirror and flexed. I hurt my arms.
Pwnd Life

ChoIre

In third grade, I was practicing from an upcoming choir concert at school. My grandmother told me to stop; I was hurting her ears.
Pwnd Life

BoyFrontin

I was babysitting a second grade boy and he asked me if I had a boyfriend. Without giving me a chance to answer, he says: "No? Didn't think so. You have to get one in the next two months or all the good ones will be taken." I think he's right.
Pwnd Life